


Philip and the Boy who felt like Icarus

by thatdragonchic



Category: Eyewitness (US TV)
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Oops, Philkas - Freeform, Smut, it all just happens, speculation for episode 6
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-16
Updated: 2016-11-16
Packaged: 2018-08-31 11:02:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8575792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatdragonchic/pseuds/thatdragonchic
Summary: Lukas calls him a stalker in front of the whole school, brands him a creep and a stalker and isolates him from the rest of this small world. Yet Lukas can't help but want to make it up, only to get to his house to find he was in bed with another guy- and he thinks that maybe he doesn't need Philip, that he was Icarus, but for Philip he would let the sun melt his wings and the oceans swallow him whole--OR Philkas get into a fight at school (The episode 6 trailer!!) and Philip decides to call up a friend with innocent intentions but end up becoming an uninnocent night. Lukas finds out. He tries to win Philip back, and in the end, of course, Philip was never able to push Lukas away





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is for Joey because she loves Angst and so do I

It wasn’t meant to be like this, everything should have played out so innocently. The way things should have been was Leo came over, and they drank soda and Philip complained to him about Lukas- and Leo couldn’t help it- Philip was so pretty. So there were his lips, brushing over Philip’s. “What are you doing?” Philip whispers.

“You said you wish you could forget the whole thing… I want to help you forget.”

“But Lukas…”

“Is not your boyfriend.”

“He didn’t have sex with Rose because he likes me.”

“He didn’t have sex with Rose because he couldn’t get it up because he’s gay. Besides, Evan never did things like this to you-”

“I broke up with Evan because he’d blow me then talk about math problems in the afterglow… I mean as thrilling as that sounds, it bored me to sleep everytime.”

“And Motocross is really a thrill.”

“Mmm… more thrilling than math.”

“You’re whipped.”

“I might be.”

“Let me help you forget. It’s just one night and your crush never has to know.” Leo pauses though. “But only if you want to do it… If you’re saying no because you’re afraid of hurting him, I won’t stand for it. He hurts you constantly, you can do things for yourself sometime. But if you’re saying no because you don’t want to-”

Philip leans forward and presses his lips to Leo’s, his voice dying in his throat as he glanced over Philip’s gaze before shutting his eyes and kissing back. A hand wove its way into his hair, and Leo held Philip’s hips. It was so sudden and not sudden at all. It felt so relieving to Philip, to kiss somebody and not worry what they thought- what others might think, what guilt Leo might feel later, what backlash he might get. It was soothing and it was there. It was numbing. It was so numbing… 

Philip sighs as their lips part for just a moment, then they dive in deeper. Hands wove into hair and Philip fell on his back. It was the nice kind of weight that hovered over him, the way their lips parted only for Leo to kiss down his neck. God Philip was a sucker for it, his hands moving into reddish hair, tugging at it just slightly. His mind was racing but all at once, he thought nothing at all. It wasn’t like the guys who he had sold himself to, where he was always thinking his way out of the situation, going through with the blow jobs and the sex, but his mentality was never really there. His mentality is here now. And everything is the purest shade of white, something about this makes him feel like heaven was under his feet, and Leo only pursued him. No shame and no plans of stopping. 

Philip didn’t want to stop. His hips instictively rut up and Leo rut back down into him. Philip moans, it’s all he can do. Leo laughs a bit, and Philip laughs too. This was nice. He liked this. 

“I guess I’m doing something right.”

“You’re doing nothing wrong,” Philip says, airy and smiling. Leo slips up to kiss him and Philip is running a hand over his tan shoulders, kissing back hard. 

 

It wasn’t too long later, maybe a good fifteen minutes of making out ( _ hard _ ) and groping do the two finally unclothe to be as naked as the day they were born. It wasn’t as big of a deal as Philip thought it would be, Leo didn’t stop praising his body with his lips, and Philip didn’t stop tugging his hair.

“I want to fuck,” he informs Leo.

“Are you sure?”

“Positive. You promised a time I’d remember while forgetting.”

“Contradictory.”

“Paradoxical actually.”

Leo scoffs and Philip beams, they meet in a kiss and Philip grabs a condom from the drawer in his nightstand. Under his underwear and next to the lube. He grabs that too. Leo takes the reigns (of course he does, not that Philip minds anyways) and makes the gesture of grabbing the condom and ripping the package with his teeth.

“Jeez don’t rip the condom, I have no intention of being glued to you,” Philip says laughing, though the action did spark a pleasure in his veins. It was hot. Leo notices, and their eyes are dark with prowess. Their hearts are beating wildly and Philip has never wanted anything so badly, has never been so close to having sex like this when he really wanted to. All the sex he’s ever had was purely for money, to live to see another day with clean water and maybe a sandwich. But this was desire, and passion. This was laughing with somebody he liked and kissing up their body, tasting their soft skin.

(And does it  _ really  _ matter if he’s not crushing on Leo? That this isn’t going anywhere? They both know its not. Just traction between two guys. Like jacking off to porn together but a little more touchy-feely, a little more personal. It was being in love without needing to be in love. It was friendship… with an added bonus. Just this one time of course. So it doesn’t really matter, as far as Philip’s concerned. He’s not exclusive with Lukas… Lukas had Rose, he never broke it off with her. Philip is second best, and for tonight he was putting Lukas as second best. Right? Right.) 

Philip winces, the interval between his thoughts and their body has lead to his body being intruded on and he winces. Of course he does. But his body relaxes just a bit as Leo presses deeper, finds that spot and- “ _ Oh Right there!”  _

 

Lukas messed up. He knows he did. Philip hasn’t texted him back, hasn’t spoken to him, hasn’t so much as looked at him since the incident. He didn’t… mean to push things so far. He didn’t realize he was crossing a line when he did- and god was he wrong not to realize it. He firmly believes that Philip’s fire seething, bitter, angry gaze is more damaging than the homocide he witnessed. It was wrecking and scary and heart breaking all at once. 

He didn’t know what Philip was looking for and he sure as hell hoped it wasn’t revenge- but Philip had always been so kind. Was this really what pushes him over? Lukas is set on talking to him and finding out. He grabs his motorcycle and he heads on over to the Torrence-Caldwell household. Knocks on the door, only for Helen to answer.

“Lukas.”

“Sheriff, Hi,” he breathes.

“Caaan I help you?”

“Yeah… uhm I’m here to see Philip. C-Can I come in to talk to him?”

He sees the ever so slight panic in her eyes. She knows Philip is upstairs with that boy and the bed has creaked just a few too many times for them to be doing anything innocent… she glances upstairs and bites her lip. Does she let Lukas see for himself- were they even a thing? She decides that Philip was a bit too spiteful of the other, and that maybe there was nothing lewd going on in her foster sons bedroom- (not that she’s looking to find out if there is. He could clean up the sheets himself. That’s a mess she is NOT taking care of.)

“Uhm… yeah he’s upstairs with a friend,” she says, as if forewarning him. 

Lukas seems to seem conflicted- he didn’t really know Philips friends or anything of them. He didn’t really know Philip had  _ any  _ friends and he feels like it just comes to show how little he knows him. He nods slightly and Helen lets him proceed upstairs. He stops at the second door on the left of the hallway and it’s so loud and clear. 

_ “Oh! Right there!”  _ Lukas feels his heart sink to the bottom of his stomach, he wants to throw up, he wants to run. But maybe there was- Laughing inside of the room, and he could almost hear their loud, obscene kissing through the door, the soft squeaking of the bed. A small moan, and gruff groan. Philip was definitely in there with another guy, and the full picture of what was going on inside seemed to be sex. 

Which of course, Lukas had pushed the idea out of Philip’s head numerous times. And Philip seemed to push it out of his after that evening on his bed. Lukas hadn’t really  _ offered  _ Philip that kind of contact… or any contact really. They kissed, sure. But their kisses were brief and sometimes almost meaningless, too uncertain to be much more than a notion. Why wouldn’t Philip turn to other guys? And kiss them and-

_ “Fuck hold on a second!” _

_ “What’s wrong?” _

_ “Just… I don’t wanna cum too fast-”  _

He doesn’t want to know what’s happening in that room, Lukas genuinely thinks he won’t make it out of the door without ruining a carpet, but he practically sprints and leaves wordlessly. Tears that were forcing their way down his cheeks, out of his eyes. Thank god the roads were familiar because other wise everything was a blur. 

He gets home and he locks himself in his room. He wasn’t allowed to be hurt like this when all he’s done is push Philip away recently. Yell at him, throw him under the boss, publically  _ humiliate  _ him. If anything, he should be happy Philip was in bed with that other guy. But he wasn’t. He was far from it.

 

And who was to Stop Lukas when the next day during Lunch, Philip was at his locker in an empty hallway. Filing books into the locker and taking other ones out. He skins over his planner and then shuts it and puts it away. He approaches Philip.

“I didn’t know you were seeing other guys.”

“Excuse me?”

“I didn’t know you were seeing other guys,” Lukas repeats.

“What gave you that idea?”

“I went over to talk to you and you sounded a little busy.”

“Yeah I was… we had a good time.”

Lukas raises an eyebrow but the pain on his face is evident.

“Yeah, you know I invited him over to help me forget all about how much of an asshole you could be sometimes and I don’t regret it any of it. It was nice.”

“Listen I’m sorry about what happened… I don’t know what’s gotten into me lately.” he knows, it was Philip- the fear of being with Philip. 

“You didn’t have to cross that line, Lukas.”

“Let me make it up to you- please?”

“You should go before somebody sees us,” Philip says, shutting his slingover before shutting the locker shut. He slings his bag around his shoulder and walks off, Lukas is desperately searching for a way to reach him. But if he follows him to lunch, people will know they were talking- they’ll know about them. If he doesn’t Philip will resent him. 

(Does he even need philip? The answer is yes he does. There is such a freedom that is never there unless he’s with this boy- and it’s everywhere when they’re together. It’s in the way Philip smiles, or the touch of his hand. It’s the curve of his cupid’s bow, the taste of his slips. How his nose pressed into Lukas’ cheek when they kissed too hard, how his hands fidgeted with the sleeves of his jacket sometimes, how he seemed so acutely aware of everything going on around him. With Philip there came freedom and with Philip, there came this light, airy feeling that made his heart soar higher than it ever had. But perhaps he was Icarus, perhaps he was flying too close to the sun.) 

Lukas ventures a gaze at Philip and he thinks that he would let his wings melt and he would let the ocean swallow him if it meant seeing Philip gaze at him with the utmost happiness. And after school, he goes to Philips favorite coffee shop, and picks up some flowers. Then he heads on to Philips house, going straight to the door and knocking, lo-and-behold, his  beloved  answers. 

Philip’s brow immediately perks up and his eyes are glaring daggers. Wide, expectant and unwillingly. “Can you give me a chance?”

“I don’t know if you deserve one.”

“Just… I know what I did was wrong but… it would be worse if everybody knew about us. I-I got scared and I lashed out and I was just protecting you… protecting  _ us.  _ And I guess I can’t do what that guy did… I’m scared and this is all so new to me… just… I’m sorry. I’ll be better, I promise. I haven’t stopped thinking about you- I never really do- and… i’m not great with words. Not like you. You know how to comfort people and say the right things but I don’t. I just… I lash out and I end up hurting you and you don’t deserve that; I’m being selfish because I know you deserve a better guy. Just… I can’t do this without you. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do if you’re not here to help me through it. And- Jesus can you stop looking at me like that! I’m sorry okay-”

Philip leans forward and presses a kiss to his cheek. He accepts the flowers and the coffee, biting back a grin. “Bye Lukas,” he sing songs, shutting the door.

“Does that mean you forgive me?”

“Sure,” Philip says before shutting the door and breaking out into a grin, leaning his forehead to the door, waiting to see if Lukas would wait or if he would leave like Philip told him to. Helen and Gabe, who had watched the whole thing, quietly snuck back to their seats and when Philip was sure Lukas was gone, he dazidly heads back to family dinner, where he hands Helen the flowers.

“These are for you,” he says a bit airly, because that did  _ not  _ just happen. Lukas Waldenbeck, the most closeted boy he knew, did not practically propose to him with flowers and coffee at the door. It was only the sweetest thing anybody had ever done for him.

“Oh… they’re not for you from a certain somebody?”

“No why would you think that?” he asks.

“Because it looked like that.”

“He’d never know.” 

“I’ll put them in a vase.”

“Perfect.” 

Everything was messed up and ruined, but it was entirely perfect. 


End file.
